I had an experience this week with the beach chair (ah, symbolic).
You see for many years I have been perceived as being on a beach chair, chained to a lot of other experiences and happenings in my life.
Of course I have never “been” there, but the fact that I have been portraying that has made me do a double take.
Sometimes, that is not only life changing, but life as it is, a threat. Not to me, but to others.
I have had this happen before in my life, but brushed it off so well, I forgot. Not only how it happened, but how I reeled back and handled it not too well.
You see, I am not a person who likes an argument or a confrontation. I prefer to “let it ride”. Now as a life coach, I know that it really just pushing my feelings down to a sub conscious level that can make them rise up like an ugly outburst.
This has never worked for me, and I now understand it works for no one. EVER!!!
This week, I dealt with some undercurrents that wanted me to “read”between the lines. Well, sorry, that doesn’t work on the level you want it too. Because, yup, what I am about to tell you shows you why.
No one, yes, no one is a mind reader. That means when you have something in your mind that you think everyone understands, they don’t.
I could embellish this but won’t because I think or hope you get my gist.
If you want something. SPEAK!!! Your partner or other person does not mind read.
If you don’t like something SPEAK! No one knows this other than you.
If you don’t understand something “SPEAK”. But I cannot guarantee they will get you.
Now, this is the point here. They DO NOT have to get you. They do not have to understand you. They do not have to agree, condone anything with you, but. OH YEAH, BUT!
Neither do you.
There is a Universal Law out there called the Law Of Allowing. Allowing means just this. You love them unconditionally. You allow them to be who they are. Angry, argumentative, confrontational, accusing, defensive, whatever it is they present.
Now the tough part. You can allow them to do that. You can love them unconditionally through the stuff that is making them be that, do that, and present that. And why? In most cases, and I am emphasizing most, not all, misunderstandings come from the belief that your partner knows what you are thinking. Mind blowing huh?
Scenario: Wife is having a significant birthday in her life that is making her feel somewhat growing older when she is not ready. She is expecting her partner to get this though she has expressed this, but not made it explicitly clear. She does not want a surprise party, she is feeling like she has missed the boat so to speak, but he organizes it anyway.
I can give you all sorts of answers to the end of that, but the beginning of it is, SPEAK. And if they don’t get it, allow. See the good in what they have done even if it is not what you want. You might be surprised by the goodness, and love that comes to you.
How do I know about that? It happened to me. I can say all ended well, but sometimes it doesn’t.
I was comfortable, expandable, and adventurous enough to eventually, and I do say that in reality, to embrace the wonderful surprise they had for me. It was far beyond my expectations, and made unforgettable memories that I would have missed if I did not “allow” them to be them in that moment.
This week, I have had to “allow” again, and that will not be the last time. If you can do this, “allow”, love unconditionally, but stick to your beliefs or convictions, all will work together for good. Nothing comes of friction, disagreement, or confrontation. Love conquers all.
You want more? Sign up on my email. You might have some unexpected bonuses come your way.