I cook a lot, I mean a lot.
I have eight kids at home, six teenagers, and two 21 year six footers.
They eat a LOT! And I mean A LOT!
Even though I have a commercial kitchen, I can tell you it can get hot.
Five ovens, at least two going at one time, six burners, yup its hot.
Thanksgiving, although I love it, it is the hottest. Five ovens going.
That means there are lots of people to feed, including extras.
And THAT means, there can be tensions, personality conflicts, the occasional few who have had a little too much wine, and unload all their woes, along with the grandkids all interacting at the same time.
Yup, the heat can turn up way more than the ovens do!!!
So what do you do when this happens? Cause I know it happens to you too!!!
Do you fight? Do you flee? Are you the mediator, the defender, or are you silent? Do you cringe in your chair and wonder how to handle it when the skeletons come out of the cupboard?
I used to. Not so much now, but in earlier days when some of my family came that were not noted for being pleasant, I beat myself up for days. They were downright disagreeable, but I took their anger, and criticism to heart. I beat myself up, had bad dreams. But were they so disagreeable I had to get involved, take it upon myself, and own it?
Think about that. I mean really think. Take a second and picture it in your head. What made you upset? Was it them? Or was it how you reacted, or expected them to behave?
Think carefully. Did you have that expectation of behavior, or dread, in your mind and thoughts before they arrived?
I know I used to. I already had the script written in my head expecting the tension.
So, big thought here, if I was expecting it, did I unintentionally attract it?
Wait…..what do you mean by that? It’s their behavior. Their comments..
Yes it is, but can you allow them to just be who they are and move on? We can choose our friends, but, we can’t choose our relatives.
This is where the law of attraction works whether we know it or not. It is where with our thoughts of dread, or our precipitated ideas, lead us to almost make our worst fears happen.
God says we reap what we sow. If we sow thoughts of anger, tension, and bad behavior, is that not what we reap? It is without one doubt, because God said so.
It took me a long time to learn what unconditional love looked like. It looks like what God says is not “judging” but allowing. Can you allow those in your life that don’t go with your flow to be who they are?
Can you recognize they may not understand you either?
Can you bite your tongue and think better thoughts. Like, maybe they are hurting and trust they can take it out on you and on me?
And maybe they are just who they are and cannot be changed by anything you say, other than just loving them. Maybe in their minds, in their thoughts, they have allowed themselves to not believe in loving, and are filled with sadness, i.e. coming out as anger, rebellion, and other like behaviors.
I do have a mum like this, but I also have had foster kids like this. You see their pain is so great, they cannot see or feel any light, or love, they feel abandoned, rejected, unloved, which makes them defensive, like an animal separated from it’s pack, and afraid.
So, a really big thought here, if it’s hot in your kitchen, or relationship on your end, it is a volcanic heat on their side. And, if it is, how can you change YOU to cope and love them through it.
You see, anger and bitterness on your side, will lead to attracting those same thoughts and events into your life. It will become a cycle. That is why God says to love unconditionally, meaning, allow the other person to be who they are, stand back, and love them just where they are.
I would love YOUR thoughts and comments on this.
If this is an issue in your life, if it hits a nerve, I do offer a free coaching session and you are very welcome to take advantage of that. I would love to help you to allow and love unconditionally.